How drunk are you??
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing