Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
