At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
