Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.