You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize