Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
