If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My feet surprised me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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