Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
