Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
