If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize