You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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