Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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