im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
