Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
