so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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