his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
