You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
