her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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