a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize