from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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