I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
