I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
