You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
