wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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