Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
