she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
