My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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