I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize