it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
