Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
