he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
