Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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