im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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