it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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