Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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