so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I could fuck to npr.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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