He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
