I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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