he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
