break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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