My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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