as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
