first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just blew my weed a kiss
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
