I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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