i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
