she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
