sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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