we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
