i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
