Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
