I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
