I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize