I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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