I don't think brook has ever known best
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
