i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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